Tag Archives: Crazy

Don’t Say Quitters Never Prosper

11 Apr

So it’s been over a year since I gave up on this blog. The plan was to do a blog post everyday for 365 days. I made it to 99. Which, to be honest with you all, is longer than I expected to last. In the end I was in a rough time of my life. All I did was work. And I obsessed about people knowing how much I was working and I focused on it to an almost breaking point. I cried a lot that year. I had virtually no friends, and nothing to look forward to. I was so lonely. I wouldn’t say I was clinically depressed, I would never assume to know what true depression feels like. But I would say that I was in a version of my own definition of depression. I was sad and lonely and afraid of life. I wanted things to happen to me but I didn’t want to do them. There was a war going on within me everyday. I would tell my self to buck up and then run into a corner and cry my eyes out for hours because I hated myself. I wanted to change. But I was terrified of change. You see how that can tear a person apart from the inside? Each post on here was a grasp at the idea of happiness, that my life had some weight to it. I was hopeful, but not mentally ready for any of it.

Since I quit this blog so much has happened. Surprisingly if i had kept this blog up you and I would have seen me transform into a different person. It didn’t happen right away I stayed in my black hole for many more months after the last post of this blog. So here’s a recap of what happened to me after this blog.

Work. Cry. Black hole. Work. Cry. Black hole.

I went to Europe for 2 months. 14 Countries, a Cruise. Great food. Pseudo-great company. Great memories.

I was highly liked by many friends we made there, boosting my self-confidence to slightly above self-loathing.

I came to the realization that I love to travel.

I became really good friends (I believe the term is BFFs) with a girl I work with.

we got tattoos together. It would be my first. I don’t have any more. Yet.

I got dangerously close to being in a relationship with someone I’ve had a crush on for years.

My friend forced me to join Tinder. I met a really great guy. He became my boyfriend.

I’m in love.

I got an iPhone 5s!

That’s about it. I’m still contemplating the future of this blog. But as I type these words I feel myself releasing something. I don’t know what it is about typing this post but it feels so comfortable to me. And I feel myself wanting to continue. So something will come of this. Just not sure what yet. I’d love to do a travel blog, but I don’t have the time off or the resources to travel often enough. But we’ll see, something will come of it. I have hopes, and optimism for once.

In the end 22 was a good year. And the day I turned 23 I asked the world (via Facebook) to give me an even better year at 23. Within the month I started talking to my boyfriend. 23 has already been a great year, and I have so much more in store.

I leave you with something I just created out of boredom, I took the photo in the background, its of The Amalfi Coast. I thought it was vaguely related to the subject of this post.

LM

A Rule I Need to Live By

A Rule I Need to Live By

P.S. This is officially my 100th Blog Post. Yay me. Took me long enough…

November 19th, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #76: Best Friends

So, I finally went out on Monday! Woohoo, my first time in over a month. I had a great time. We drank a lot…we talked a lot….and we cried a little. Yea. It’s hard not to bring up what you are most emotional about at the time when you’re most drunk.

I have known these two ladies since I was four years old. It’s going on nineteen years now! We’ve had our ups and downs. Treated each other not so greatly. But, in the end, we gravitate back together. It’s hard not to when there’s so much history there. We’ve been through life changing events together. Life, death, and everything in between. We went to the same elementary school (JK to 8) and the same highschool. I think we’ve stayed pretty close through all of it. I mean that’s a bond that really can’t be broken. There’s no way to forget 19 years of your life, really. We’ve helped each other through hard times, and supported one another’s decisions, no matter how wrong we may have thought they were.

I kind of want to do a before and after photo collage of us. Because I know there’s a picture of just the three of us when we’re around five or six, and I just spent a long time looking for it, with no luck. But I know it’s around somewhere. I think that would be a fun thing to see. How we’ve changed, and how we’ve stayed the same. So that’s one of my next craft ideas…we’ll see if I actually finish this one…

Accomplishment of the day: Going outside on my day off and having a social life!

November 9th, 2012

10 Nov

PHOTO #66: More Bond Promo

Weird picture aside (I’m too lazy to put the dress on) I am super excited for tomorrow! Turns out the one manager that was enforcing the rule for skirts to be past our knees is on vacation. When I got to work today, still sad about not being able to wear any of my dresses, I saw girls wearing ridiculous crap. Like skin tight, cleavage showing, barely covering their asses let alone their knees. So, I went up to them and asked what they thought they were doing. And they said no one told them to take it off. So…screw it! I’m wearing a dress tomorrow. That’s that. So this is a picture of the dress’s fabric. It’s sparkly 🙂 . I’m so excited to wear it tomorrow. I’m still trying to think of what shoes I’m going to wear, and how I’m going to do my make-up. Hopefully I give myself enough time to figure that out tomorrow. Because I really just want to go to bed right now. I literally just got home from work…it’s 3:30am! So. Not. Cool. It’s more of the same thing unfortunately. No one doing their job, no one willing to put in the effort to do things right, so that I don’t have to spend hours fixing things when they go wrong. It’s getting ridiculous now. And there’s this miscommunication between the managers as to what my job is daily. Am I the teller, or am I the assistant manager? Because honestly, I could do both, but I would go crazy and get ripped in half at some point I’m sure. And I would be at the theatre every night until 3:30 am. Just like tonight.

Guhhh…’til tomorrow I guess.

October 15th, 2012

16 Oct

PHOTO #41: Second Attempts

So, I survived another double, and six days in a row! Though I did start to go delirious near the end of my shift today. That’s okay! Because, I have Tuesday off! And, I am not letting them call me in. I have plans, to buy fabric for my Halloween costume, and my brothers costume as well. And I had plans to re-watch Pitch Perfect, though that may not happen now. Oh well, the fact that I am this sure, and excited about my Halloween costume, this early, is good enough for me. Usually, I am contemplating between a few choices, but am never %100 sure what I want to do, and then the day before Halloween I decide on something completely different, and it looks bad, and quickly put together. I am determined to not let that happen again this year. I know what I want to do, and have most of what I need. Yay, for not procrastinating.

As you can see, I am re-doing the blue in my hair. I had about 3/4 of a bottle left, and am going to leave it in over night to see if I can finally get the colour I wanted in the first place. I did sort of get it everywhere. Luckily not on any furniture, or anywhere, for that matter, other than on myself. I managed to get it all over my forehead too…oops. Though I managed to get most of it off, with dish soap. Hopefully I don’t have a blue face tomorrow…You’ll get a picture tomorrow of my new improved colour. Maybe. If it looks good…

I served a couple of famous guys today while I was working box office. I don’t remember their names though. Oh well. One of them told me I had good voice projection. Because where the box office I was working in was located is sort of hidden behind the other ones, so, unless I yell, no one really knows I’m even there.

Before I turn my keyboard blue I am going to head to bed. Until tomorrow. 🙂

October 14th, 2012

15 Oct

PHOTO #40: My Crazy Life

Hopefully this is clear enough that you understand, but it may be a bit small to see. This is my work schedule for the past 14 days. The green boxes are shifts I’ve worked, the pink box is tomorrows shift. And if you can see the hours most of them are incorrect. If it’s a shift that says 12:00-17:00 (military time, don’t ask why) I usually have stayed long past that. Sometimes until midnight. Like tomorrows shift. It says I’m working from 5:00 to 12:00, but they’ve asked me to come in at noon. And of course I’m a crazy workaholic and I said okay.

I was really hoping to have an awesome photo for my #40, but I worked all day today, and nothing cool happened. So, seeing as this picture is relevant to my life right now, this is what you/my future self get. I have worked eleven of the past 14 days, and yes if you do the math and look at the picture, you’ll try to tell me it’s only 10 of the past 14. But look closely. If you see on the 13th, that little blue star. That means I worked a shift that I wasn’t scheduled for. Yea, that’s right, I went in on one of my only days off. Like I said: Crazy.

I’m going to bed now, since I agreed to go in for noon tomorrow, I need as much sleep as I can get. Maybe tomorrows picture will be cooler.

 

October 7th, 2012

8 Oct

PHOTO #33: My New Hair

So, there it is. It definitely didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. See, I wanted a royal deep vibrant blue. This is like, blue, green, aqua, teal, something. Now, I will tell you. I don’t hate it. It is quite nice. It’s just the point that I dyed it for was a foundation fundraiser, and their shade of blue, in their logo, is not this shade. None the less, I will wear it with pride, because it looks great. I hope, or maybe everyone is lying to me…and I will update it later in hopes of getting closer to the shade that I want.

Today was a super long day. I did another 12 hour shift. And unfortunately, guests during the holidays are never the same as regular guests. It’s like all the grumpy lonely people come out on the holidays to see movies, and make my life a living hell. Now, of course there are the great guests, there always are. But, it seems like the guest concerns more than double on a holiday. And everyone needs a manager for something, complaining about this, refunding that, too full, too cold, too hot, blah blah blah. I just want to curl up in a ball and rock myself to sleep. On top of that, we had to call security about 5 times today. People sneaking in, drunk people vomiting all over, a group of people having a screaming match in a theatre. It’s been a long day. And my bed is just calling me.

In good news I decided what to be for halloween! Blue hair permitting, I am going as The Corpse Bride. If  you’ve seen the movie, she has long dark blue hair, pale blueish skin, and a tattered wedding dress. When I saw the picture I was set on it. Usually I don’t decide until the night before, sometimes it ends up being a hit (last year I dressed as Brad Pitt, people who came to see movies actually thought I was a guy…), most times they fall flat. But, I really like to try and out dress everyone.

October 4th, 2012

5 Oct

PHOTO #30: Dying My Hair

I made it to 30 posts!!! I am so happy that I haven’t given up. Somedays it gets hard to think of what I might post for the day. Somedays I don’t take a single picture until just before midnight. But, I have held on through the boring times, and posted a Picture Of The Day every single day, for 30 days straight. I am proud of myself, and my little blog.

As a practicing procrastinating pessimist (I wasn’t expecting all the “P’s” until I typed it out), Things like blogs never work out for me. As I’m sure I have mentioned before. I am lazy, and I almost always see the worst in a situation. “This blog is going to be boring, and stupid.” “I’ll never even get one follower.” “No one wants to read about my boring life.” These are a small small percentage of some of the negative things I have thought at some point or another. Pertaining to this blog, or in other aspects of my life. But, at this moment now, I think, it doesn’t matter what the blog is about, how boring it is, and whether anyone reads it. I want to do it. And, I am doing it. AND, I am keeping it up. Right now, I feel that’s what matters to me. That I believe I can do something. No matter how small it is, no matter that it means nothing to get me closer to a career, or helps me in life, I want to do it. It means to me that, I am not a permanent procrastinator. And, I don’t always give up on everything. I now have this as proof. Otherwise I look at all the projects I have started and see failure after unfinished failure. I can, and will turn it around. With the help of this blog. To continue to address the issues I have with myself, and as a constant reminder of the small success I can achieve. I know, this all sounds so “365th day final speech.” and I’m only 30 days in. But, this is a big deal to me. If I can believe in myself, then I have grown.

Today Arnold Schwarzenegger was in the Indigo under the theatre I work in. I didn’t see him, but I feel this counts as a celebrity sighting, for two reasons. 1. He was within the vicinity of where I was. 2. My friend/ex-coworker got his autograph, and a picture with him, and came straight up to show me. So, yea…It counts.

As a promise to my managers, and all the employees where I work, I said I would dye my hair blue if we raised $2000 for the month of September for a children’s charity. And we did. We raised around $2500. So, I am dyeing my hair blue. The plan for todays picture was to be of me, with blue hair. But, I had to push the dyeing over to tomorrow, due to scheduling issues between me and the friend that is helping me with it. Her and her sister are always changing their hair colour. From brown to bleach blonde, to strawberry red, to turquoise, within a matter of months. So, I figure they are experts, and am putting my trust into them. Tomorrow. I am a bit nervous. I used to dye my hair a lot, in highschool. And I loved doing it. I never went an unnatural colour, except the time I put pink in the underneath part of my hair. So, this is the most drastic I have gone. And, I am also worried my GM will disapprove. But, I am going to do it anyways. I am bored of my hair, and need a change, I have always wanted to do something crazy, and this is my chance. Soon enough it will be too late in my life to do it. I’ll need to look professional if I want a certain career, or if I want people to treat me professionally.

The products are as follows:

For the bleaching process

-Charlston Goes Organic 30v Organic Processor

-Selecta Premium Bleaching Powder

For the dyeing process

-La rich’e Directions Hair Dye in Midnight Blue

And of course some rubber gloves.

Wish me luck tomorrow. I hope my hair doesn’t fall out. :S