Tag Archives: Habits

Don’t Say Quitters Never Prosper

11 Apr

So it’s been over a year since I gave up on this blog. The plan was to do a blog post everyday for 365 days. I made it to 99. Which, to be honest with you all, is longer than I expected to last. In the end I was in a rough time of my life. All I did was work. And I obsessed about people knowing how much I was working and I focused on it to an almost breaking point. I cried a lot that year. I had virtually no friends, and nothing to look forward to. I was so lonely. I wouldn’t say I was clinically depressed, I would never assume to know what true depression feels like. But I would say that I was in a version of my own definition of depression. I was sad and lonely and afraid of life. I wanted things to happen to me but I didn’t want to do them. There was a war going on within me everyday. I would tell my self to buck up and then run into a corner and cry my eyes out for hours because I hated myself. I wanted to change. But I was terrified of change. You see how that can tear a person apart from the inside? Each post on here was a grasp at the idea of happiness, that my life had some weight to it. I was hopeful, but not mentally ready for any of it.

Since I quit this blog so much has happened. Surprisingly if i had kept this blog up you and I would have seen me transform into a different person. It didn’t happen right away I stayed in my black hole for many more months after the last post of this blog. So here’s a recap of what happened to me after this blog.

Work. Cry. Black hole. Work. Cry. Black hole.

I went to Europe for 2 months. 14 Countries, a Cruise. Great food. Pseudo-great company. Great memories.

I was highly liked by many friends we made there, boosting my self-confidence to slightly above self-loathing.

I came to the realization that I love to travel.

I became really good friends (I believe the term is BFFs) with a girl I work with.

we got tattoos together. It would be my first. I don’t have any more. Yet.

I got dangerously close to being in a relationship with someone I’ve had a crush on for years.

My friend forced me to join Tinder. I met a really great guy. He became my boyfriend.

I’m in love.

I got an iPhone 5s!

That’s about it. I’m still contemplating the future of this blog. But as I type these words I feel myself releasing something. I don’t know what it is about typing this post but it feels so comfortable to me. And I feel myself wanting to continue. So something will come of this. Just not sure what yet. I’d love to do a travel blog, but I don’t have the time off or the resources to travel often enough. But we’ll see, something will come of it. I have hopes, and optimism for once.

In the end 22 was a good year. And the day I turned 23 I asked the world (via Facebook) to give me an even better year at 23. Within the month I started talking to my boyfriend. 23 has already been a great year, and I have so much more in store.

I leave you with something I just created out of boredom, I took the photo in the background, its of The Amalfi Coast. I thought it was vaguely related to the subject of this post.

LM

A Rule I Need to Live By

A Rule I Need to Live By

P.S. This is officially my 100th Blog Post. Yay me. Took me long enough…

November 29th, 2012

30 Nov
PHOTO #86: Stolen Cake

PHOTO #86: Stolen Cake

The cake has just been sitting there since Sunday. I didn’t want it to go to waste. Plus, my mom and sister had already tried it, so I figured I deserved a taste. The ice cream (though not so appetizing looking in the photo) was delicious. Peanut butter cup flavour. Yum.

This morning I told my mom that I was going to try and start going to bed earlier…that didn’t work so well. I just can’t do it. I don’t see the point, plus I’m never tired when I get home. So, even if I did go to bed earlier, I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. Eating birthday cake, and ice cream I’m sure doesn’t help…but I can’t stop myself. If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat what’s around. This is one of those habits that’s going to be hard to kick…

Otherwise all around boring day. More work. More stress. More spots on my hands…I am really thinking of calling for a doctors appointment. They are starting to evolve. Larger more random shapes, itchy ones…that sorta thing.

I don’t know. I feel like I’m overreacting. I just wish I knew for sure whether it was just stress related or not.

November 12th, 2012

12 Nov

PHOTO #69: Being Lazy…Again

The Question is: Can I get this post out in ten minutes? Hopefully. I don’t have much to say for today. I spent half of it sleeping, and the other half watching TV. I had so many plans for today when I went to bed last night. I was going to make a sweater, then I realized I had no tracing paper. I was going to clean my room, and do laundry…but that never happens when I want it to either. I wanted to go shoe shopping, or maybe get my ear pierced. I just couldn’t get myself to move from my couch. So, here I am drinking tea and watching How I met Your Mother. Being lazy on my only day off. Now I have to open tomorrow, and I have nothing to show for my free time. I really need to figure out how to be less lazy. That’s a big one on my list of things to work on for myself. Guess I’ll just keep trying.

At least I succeeded in one thing. I got my post out on the day it was written for. Now, if only there were other goals I could meet with the same success…

October 18th, 2012

19 Oct

PHOTO #44: Tomorrows Outfit

I bought some new clothes from H&M today, while shopping with my sister. And have decided that I am wearing both things I bought tomorrow. She said, she was going to buy this dress and be a Dalmatian for Halloween, but I love it. Though that would be an adorable costume. I haven’t tried these pieces on together, so hopefully the length of the sweater goes well with the length of the dress. And, of course my hair will clash with it. But, I think it will be okay. And if not I’ll put it in a bun or something. On second thought I might wear it the day after tomorrow, since I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow. I might stay home and craft something.

I watched Pitch Perfect for the second time finally! It has been about a week of me trying to find someone to go with, and people bailing, which I’m used to. It was just as good the second time ’round. And I caught a couple of things I missed the first time. Which is awesome.

Another one of those habits that I really should break but don’t want to, is staying up late. Some days it’s fine. And I can wake up early in the morning no problem. But, sometimes I screw myself over. Like this morning. I stayed up until 4am last night, but had to get up around 10 to get ready for work today. I slept through my loud obnoxious alarm that it right beside my face, somehow. And woke up at 11:20. To make it to work for 12 I usually need an hour. So, I was freaking out. I managed to get up, dressed, and out of the house in 3 or 4 minutes. The bus came right away at 11:25, and I made it to work on time. Tired, and Hungry, but on time. Lucky, for once.

So, maybe I’ll try kicking the ‘late nights’ habit…Tomorrow…:D

October 17th, 2012

18 Oct

PHOTO #43: Broken Nails Broken Habits

Today was going great I opened in the morning, we weren’t being audited and it wasn’t crazy busy. I did have to work on a position I am not %100 comfortable on, but it was okay, because it was dead. Then some guy came up to me and asked if we had his keys that he lost the other night. I went to pick up the lost and found box and it was heavier than I was expecting. So, it slipped out of my hand. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but after he had left I felt a jaggedness on my nail. So, I look down and my nail had broken, obviously when I dropped the box, it got pushed backwards and snapped off.

And I know, this seems like such a small thing. It shouldn’t be an issue. And seven months ago it wouldn’t have been. But, I have been working hard on my appearance. And one of the areas I have been working really hard on was my nails. I used to be a nail biter. I thought it was one of the habits I was never going to kick. And, I didn’t want to kick it. Long nails didn’t matter to me. Although the fact that my nails were always so brittle that they never would have grown anyways, did annoy me sometimes. Especially when I saw someone with long, strong nails. But, it was never something I cared that much about. I would always roll my eyes when a girl got upset or cried over breaking a nail. But, I honestly understand it now. I mean, I wouldn’t cry over it, but it is upsetting. I stopped biting my nails. And it wasn’t a gradual thing. I had just come back from my trip to the U.K. and was watching a movie with a friend (The Avengers). And movies were the worst for me. There was always that tension built scene that I would always start biting my nails at. And so there I was about to tear off a millimetre of nail from my pinky when I though “Why don’t I stop doing this and see what happens?” So, I did. For six months. And my nails grew. And they grew. And they grew. And then I was sort of in shock. All my nails simultaneously grew, and never chipped or broke off. So, I started taking more care of them. Being more careful. Biting them never even crossed my mind. I was too proud of myself for having such restraint that it seemed silly to even think it.

I am not too upset, just because I had a good long run with great nails. And this was bound to happen eventually. Plus, I know it’s going to grow back. And I’m really just proud of myself for breaking one of my bad habits. It means I can focus on the next one. Not that I have chosen which one yet. It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. And I guess that’s what this Blog is all about. So, I have made an accomplishment. And for that I am proud of myself. Which is something quite rare…I’ll work on that eventually too.