Tag Archives: Memories

Don’t Say Quitters Never Prosper

11 Apr

So it’s been over a year since I gave up on this blog. The plan was to do a blog post everyday for 365 days. I made it to 99. Which, to be honest with you all, is longer than I expected to last. In the end I was in a rough time of my life. All I did was work. And I obsessed about people knowing how much I was working and I focused on it to an almost breaking point. I cried a lot that year. I had virtually no friends, and nothing to look forward to. I was so lonely. I wouldn’t say I was clinically depressed, I would never assume to know what true depression feels like. But I would say that I was in a version of my own definition of depression. I was sad and lonely and afraid of life. I wanted things to happen to me but I didn’t want to do them. There was a war going on within me everyday. I would tell my self to buck up and then run into a corner and cry my eyes out for hours because I hated myself. I wanted to change. But I was terrified of change. You see how that can tear a person apart from the inside? Each post on here was a grasp at the idea of happiness, that my life had some weight to it. I was hopeful, but not mentally ready for any of it.

Since I quit this blog so much has happened. Surprisingly if i had kept this blog up you and I would have seen me transform into a different person. It didn’t happen right away I stayed in my black hole for many more months after the last post of this blog. So here’s a recap of what happened to me after this blog.

Work. Cry. Black hole. Work. Cry. Black hole.

I went to Europe for 2 months. 14 Countries, a Cruise. Great food. Pseudo-great company. Great memories.

I was highly liked by many friends we made there, boosting my self-confidence to slightly above self-loathing.

I came to the realization that I love to travel.

I became really good friends (I believe the term is BFFs) with a girl I work with.

we got tattoos together. It would be my first. I don’t have any more. Yet.

I got dangerously close to being in a relationship with someone I’ve had a crush on for years.

My friend forced me to join Tinder. I met a really great guy. He became my boyfriend.

I’m in love.

I got an iPhone 5s!

That’s about it. I’m still contemplating the future of this blog. But as I type these words I feel myself releasing something. I don’t know what it is about typing this post but it feels so comfortable to me. And I feel myself wanting to continue. So something will come of this. Just not sure what yet. I’d love to do a travel blog, but I don’t have the time off or the resources to travel often enough. But we’ll see, something will come of it. I have hopes, and optimism for once.

In the end 22 was a good year. And the day I turned 23 I asked the world (via Facebook) to give me an even better year at 23. Within the month I started talking to my boyfriend. 23 has already been a great year, and I have so much more in store.

I leave you with something I just created out of boredom, I took the photo in the background, its of The Amalfi Coast. I thought it was vaguely related to the subject of this post.

LM

A Rule I Need to Live By

A Rule I Need to Live By

P.S. This is officially my 100th Blog Post. Yay me. Took me long enough…

November 20th, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #77: Locker Clean Out

This is the cleanest my locker has been in five and a half years. The managers asked everyone to clear out their lockers so that they could clean everything. There apparently was an odd smell coming from behind them. Though I didn’t notice it. That may be because I had gotten so used to it. Working 5/6 days every week. So I was slowly taking everything home to make it easier on myself. And this picture is me in the process of putting stuff back in. It’s kind of sad to see it like that though. All the memories I had, all wiped away. But they’ll be back up soon. Can’t keep my personalization down for long.

Otherwise this was a boring day. Besides the fact that I was super-duper sick…I was 45 minutes late for work because I could barely get out of bed. Yes, I could have been hung-over…but I think it was more than that. I’ve had a lot more to drink with out feeling like that. So, I think it was the mixture of drinks, and food that made me sick. Either way, when I got to work I couldn’t focus on anything. I didn’t get much done in the 1.75 hours that I was there. So, my manager told me I could go home. She understood that I was overworked and that I needed to rest and feel better. I was very thankful for that. And really needed it. That would be the first time in five years and eight months that I’ve ever gone home sick. I went home after an hour of being at work once almost two years ago but that was a different reason, and the explanation would be too long to explain here. Otherwise, I have never gone home sick or not shown up for work due to sickness, ever, not once. Yes, I am proud of that.

So, I went home and slept the day away. Which really helped.

But that brings me to a question:

What do you guys do for hang-over remedies?

I’ve never really needed one, so I’ve never researched them very intensely. So any input would be helpful…

November 19th, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #76: Best Friends

So, I finally went out on Monday! Woohoo, my first time in over a month. I had a great time. We drank a lot…we talked a lot….and we cried a little. Yea. It’s hard not to bring up what you are most emotional about at the time when you’re most drunk.

I have known these two ladies since I was four years old. It’s going on nineteen years now! We’ve had our ups and downs. Treated each other not so greatly. But, in the end, we gravitate back together. It’s hard not to when there’s so much history there. We’ve been through life changing events together. Life, death, and everything in between. We went to the same elementary school (JK to 8) and the same highschool. I think we’ve stayed pretty close through all of it. I mean that’s a bond that really can’t be broken. There’s no way to forget 19 years of your life, really. We’ve helped each other through hard times, and supported one another’s decisions, no matter how wrong we may have thought they were.

I kind of want to do a before and after photo collage of us. Because I know there’s a picture of just the three of us when we’re around five or six, and I just spent a long time looking for it, with no luck. But I know it’s around somewhere. I think that would be a fun thing to see. How we’ve changed, and how we’ve stayed the same. So that’s one of my next craft ideas…we’ll see if I actually finish this one…

Accomplishment of the day: Going outside on my day off and having a social life!

October 11th, 2012

12 Oct

PHOTO #37: Instagram And My Cat

For furthering my dive into the electronic world. I got myself an Instagram. I am pretty sure it’s not really my thing. But, I figured I should try it out before I completely write it off. I usually am the last one to join the band-wagon of new internet trends, so, this time I’m not waiting until it’s not cool anymore. Yes, I did wait quite a while. But I had a Blackberry…did those things even allow Instagram? Anyways, as my monumental First Instagram Post, I give you, my cat. BIG surprise I’m sure. But, Isn’t she a cutie? She’s so photogenic, it sort of makes up for how unphotogenic I am…I don’t really understand the whole hype about Instagram though. What’s the big deal about pictures that all look pretty much the same? I mean there are only a certain number of filters you can use. And, sure these filters make your photos appear prettier, but they also look like everyone else’s. Anyways, I’ll try it a couple more times, but like I said, I don’t really feel like it’s my thing. Then again, when I write things off then try them later I tend to get addicted. I was like that with Facebook.

I was the last of my friends, because I wanted to stay true to Myspace. And Hi5, do you guys remember Hi5? I had the longest description of myself there, because they gave you 10’000 characters, and I thought, if they give you that much space, you should use it. So, I literally used the space like a blog. To tell everyone how I was changing everyday. And what was happening in my life. I wonder if it still exists…

Other than that, I have a couple of craft projects lined up, so I am looking forward to that.

Also, if you have an iPhone, or an iPod Touch, and you haven’t played Temple Run, I highly suggest it. OH. EM. GEE. That is something I’ve gotten addicted to lately. I can’t stop playing, I have to keep my phone hooked up to the charger almost 24/7 because it drains my battery crazy fast, but I can’t stop playing.

October 3rd, 2012

4 Oct

PHOTO #29: Favourite Boots

No audit today, but I have a bad feeling about tomorrow…

Today was okay, nothing special. Some writer came into the theatre to do some sort of book signing. I had never heard of him, and didn’t think he was well known, until someone told me he was the writer of the Percy Jackson books. I have never read them, but at least I knew he was more popular that I had first assumed.

These are my favourite boots, I have had them for about a year now. I have worn them almost every day. They came to the UK with me, and Washington, twice, and NYC. You’ll be surprised to know: they are from H&M! Haha. I have been wearing them with my other outfits, but you don’t get to see them, because I don’t have someone to take picks for me. So, I thought I would give you a different angle. These are my polka-dot tights, H&M. The socks are from Marks Work Warehouse. The skirt is Mendocino, on sale for $10!

Ending on a sad note, today is a very depressing day for me. Someone who was very important to me died three years ago today. And I haven’t gone one day without thinking about him. He was a big positive influence in my life in highschool. And was the first big loss I had ever dealt with. It was hard for a long time. I still get really sad sometimes, but it is easier after some time. There are things people say that remind me of him, and things that happen in the day that make me think about him. But, I try to stay positive, and remember that part of who I am is because of him.

September 29th, 2012

30 Sep

PHOTO #25: Nuit Blanche

So, from what I remember the last couple of years I’ve been to Nuit Blanche, I have not had the greatest time. Two years ago, it took us five hours to walk down Yonge Street (Something that should take twenty minutes). And to top it off, all we saw were some people carrying a cardboard robot. So I didn’t have high expectations for this year, and I wasn’t disappointed. I got exactly what I was expecting. Me and a friend took off alone because all our other friends were sitting around drinking, and wasting time. So, the most ground covered was with just me and her alone. Everything in this picture I saw with her. Once we finally met up with the other group, we spent the rest of the night waiting for more people.

Plus Side:

-Hung out with friends

-Mixed an excellent Rye and Ginger for myself

-Got free coffee

Down Side:

-Didn’t see much

-Spilled Ginger Ale in my bag some how, almost ruining my passport and Ipod

-left early and missed out on Golden Griddle (I was really hungry all night, and they went after I left 😦 )

There’s also a peek of what my outfit was for the night. In keeping with the fall theme I wore lots of layers, and my favourite jean jacket, that I bought for my sister and then she practically never wore it. So I took it back. You can’t really see the necklace but it’s another one of my own creations. I made the rock out of dollar store self hardening clay and painted it black. Then top coated it with nail polish. Yea, I couldn’t find my glaze, so I improvised.

September 18th, 2012

19 Sep

PHOTO #14: Embroidery Boredom

I bought this mesh, chicken wire sort-of stuff from the dollar store a couple of years ago and was never able to think of anything to use it for. Then, a couple of weeks ago I finally thought of something, and I couldn’t find it. Typical. But, I finally found it today! YAY! So, now I am experimenting with embroidery thread, I don’t have a wide selection just yet, but this will not be the last of this craft. I had a lot of fun with it. I don’t necessarily like this one, but it was my first try. I will continue this one to see how I like it when it’s done, I may add beads, I feel like at the moment it’s quite boring.

Today at work I was having a great day, I got a lot of stuff done, it was dead, I didn’t hate the people that were working. Then just as I’m finishing up, I find out that one of my managers has gone into the employee break room and thrown out a bunch of stuff. Stuff that meant a lot to some of the cast. This really upset me. We had a cork board that was covered in name-tags of a bunch of staff that used to work there. This was sentimental to me, because I had worked with all of these people. And, as I have mentioned, my memory is not great, so I need visual things to trigger memories (the whole point of this blog), and this was one of those things. I would look at the names and remember all the good times I had with these people, all the times they helped me when I was down, all the things I had learned from them. All in the trash. My sisters name-tag was one of them too. So, I left work in a horrible mood today. I haven’t recovered, and I don’t think I will for a while.

It seems stupid. But to me it’s not. Think of something that you hold dear to you. A picture, a piece of jewelry, or any artifact that belonged to someone that has been in your life at one point or another. Now, imagine that thing disappearing. Wouldn’t that upset you? What makes me the most angry is that this manager threw all this stuff away because she thought it was junk. Mind you she’s quite new where I work. She didn’t even think to ask someone whether this stuff meant anything to anyone. It didn’t mean anything to her, and therefor was trash. I can’t even imagine touching something that didn’t belong to me and considering it junk. Even if something is nothing to me, I always wonder whether it is something to someone else. Am I crazy for reacting this way? I am a very sentimental person. So, I guess I react more strongly than others on this subject. Either way, I think it was uncalled for.

I feel as though my memories have literally been thrown in the trash. This makes me sad. I can never get those back.