Tag Archives: Work

Don’t Say Quitters Never Prosper

11 Apr

So it’s been over a year since I gave up on this blog. The plan was to do a blog post everyday for 365 days. I made it to 99. Which, to be honest with you all, is longer than I expected to last. In the end I was in a rough time of my life. All I did was work. And I obsessed about people knowing how much I was working and I focused on it to an almost breaking point. I cried a lot that year. I had virtually no friends, and nothing to look forward to. I was so lonely. I wouldn’t say I was clinically depressed, I would never assume to know what true depression feels like. But I would say that I was in a version of my own definition of depression. I was sad and lonely and afraid of life. I wanted things to happen to me but I didn’t want to do them. There was a war going on within me everyday. I would tell my self to buck up and then run into a corner and cry my eyes out for hours because I hated myself. I wanted to change. But I was terrified of change. You see how that can tear a person apart from the inside? Each post on here was a grasp at the idea of happiness, that my life had some weight to it. I was hopeful, but not mentally ready for any of it.

Since I quit this blog so much has happened. Surprisingly if i had kept this blog up you and I would have seen me transform into a different person. It didn’t happen right away I stayed in my black hole for many more months after the last post of this blog. So here’s a recap of what happened to me after this blog.

Work. Cry. Black hole. Work. Cry. Black hole.

I went to Europe for 2 months. 14 Countries, a Cruise. Great food. Pseudo-great company. Great memories.

I was highly liked by many friends we made there, boosting my self-confidence to slightly above self-loathing.

I came to the realization that I love to travel.

I became really good friends (I believe the term is BFFs) with a girl I work with.

we got tattoos together. It would be my first. I don’t have any more. Yet.

I got dangerously close to being in a relationship with someone I’ve had a crush on for years.

My friend forced me to join Tinder. I met a really great guy. He became my boyfriend.

I’m in love.

I got an iPhone 5s!

That’s about it. I’m still contemplating the future of this blog. But as I type these words I feel myself releasing something. I don’t know what it is about typing this post but it feels so comfortable to me. And I feel myself wanting to continue. So something will come of this. Just not sure what yet. I’d love to do a travel blog, but I don’t have the time off or the resources to travel often enough. But we’ll see, something will come of it. I have hopes, and optimism for once.

In the end 22 was a good year. And the day I turned 23 I asked the world (via Facebook) to give me an even better year at 23. Within the month I started talking to my boyfriend. 23 has already been a great year, and I have so much more in store.

I leave you with something I just created out of boredom, I took the photo in the background, its of The Amalfi Coast. I thought it was vaguely related to the subject of this post.

LM

A Rule I Need to Live By

A Rule I Need to Live By

P.S. This is officially my 100th Blog Post. Yay me. Took me long enough…

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December 6th, 2012

7 Dec
PHOTO #93: Weirdo Me

PHOTO #93: Weirdo Me

So yea I was freaking out for a few minutes because I thought I may have forgotten to take a picture on this day. Turns out I took one weird picture. I was at work in the office, and I thought there was something wrong with my parting, so instead of going to the bathroom to check in a mirror, the lazy person that I am, I took a photo. Clearly my angling skills are not so great. But anyways, this is the photo that came of it.

I have nothing else to say about that. Other than look at my super long eyelashes! Or don’t…whatever…

Today was the first shift where it hasn’t been ridiculously busy straight through the day. There were quite a few moments where we all could just hang out and talk in the lobby without one guest around to overhear. Those are the moments I love. No stress, no running around, no responsibilities. The moment disappears quickly, but the fact that they even exist right now is all I need.

November 30th, 2012

1 Dec
PHOTO #87: First Snow

PHOTO #87: First Snow

Technically it’s not exactly the first snow, but it is the first time it’s snowed in Toronto that has actually stayed around. The past few times it has just floated down and then disappeared into the ground. But, I guess it’s here to stay.

Not to sound disappointed or anything…

I don’t hate snow, or winter, I mean who are we kidding here? I’m Canadian. Winter just always feels like the longest season. I love being able to layer clothing and not having to worry about people thinking I’m crazy. Which often happens in the summer when I’m in a layering mood. I just dislike being cold more than I dislike being warm. Hence the fact that I like to layer even in the summer. And it’s not that I get cold very easily, but there are other factors that make winter not as enjoyable. For instance, travel times. The TTC is always ten times slower in the winter months. Literally. You see that tiny layer of snow? And I already had to wait more than I usually do for a bus. And winter social events? Ugh! Don’t get me started. Skating? Looks fun right? Nope. Skates are so uncomfortable and painful, going ’round and ’round an ice rink in them for hours…has little appeal to me. The only plus side is hot chocolate. Anything you want to do while hanging out with friends has to involve staying outside for as little time as possible. Unless you are planning on bundling yourself into a Michelin Man style outfit.

Although that really depends on the severity of the winter. Last winter was pretty tame. Not much snow, at all.

The big thing that makes winter the worst for me is the holiday rush at work. Not only are they worse due to the fact that students have those couple of weeks off, and older crowds decided that this was a good season to flock to the theatres. But also, the Oscar movies are all coming out, and creating buzz and bringing in hoards more of crowds. And, for some reason people take this season, the happy jolly be thankful and give the gift of happiness to your loved ones season, to be as cranky, bitchy, short tempered, and impatient as they could possibly be. Makes sense? Not to me. Why do they do this? I sure couldn’t tell you. I’m too busy trying to make them understand why they can’t just go into the theatre and sit down while the credits are playing from the previous show while they’re here for the next one, and there’s a huge line up outside waiting patiently before them. They. Just. Don’t. Get. It. And no matter how many people I’ve told that-WE DON’T PUT OUR TIMES IN THE NEWSPAPER, THEY PULL THE SHOW TIMES OUT OF THEIR ASSES AND PUBLISH WHATEVER THEY WANT! I OWE YOU NOTHING!-and I’ve told hundreds of people. There are still thousands out there that will always come in with the same issue. As though it hasn’t existed for years. Probably since movie theatres were invented.

Anyways…that’s my rant for the day…yay winter…

November 23rd, 2012

24 Nov

PHOTO #80: Weird Red Spots

Wow. I can’t believe I am on post 80! Never in a million years did I think I would make it this far. Though it’s less than a quarter of the year I hope to be doing this for, I feel as though I’ve been at it forever. It’s been fun. It’s had its boring days…many of them. Though I hope that it won’t continue like that for long. The point of this thing was to try and force myself to do fun and interesting things. So, I have failed at a bit so far. But I have high hopes for the future. I have a few plans circling in my brain.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a weird spot at the knuckle of my pointer finger and thought nothing of it really. Could have been a burn, or a little bruise, or just a reaction to something that hit my skin for a moment. The weird thing about it was that it was perfectly circular. But, I passed it off as coincidence. And forgot about it. A couple of days later it had disappeared. All’s well right? Wrong. Two more perfectly circular dots appeared on my other hand. I still thought the same thing, burn or reaction. And forgot about it again. Then there were some on my elbow, then my forearm. All stayed for a couple of days then disappeared. None were itchy or painful or anything really. Just suspicious. Now there’s these ones. I noticed them at work. They are not quite as circular or prominent as the others, but who knows how long they have been there. I had just noticed them. So, being the minor hypochondriac that I am I got a bit scared…and let me tell you: Searching symptoms of things online…

DOES.

NOT.

HELP.

It really just scared me more. So, while I was working this is all I can think about:

“What is it?”

“What is causing it?”

“Could it be really bad?”

“Am I just overreacting, or over analyzing?”

I can’t focus on anything else. Which is bad, because we’re in the middle of a rush. So I went over to my friend on Guest Services (near the box office) and talked to her about it. She told me that it’s probably stress related, if it were serious they probably wouldn’t be coming and going, and would be more prominent. Not that she’s an expert, but it calmed me for now. I am going to look at physical symptoms of stress build-up because I need to know. And if it continues, I might go to the doctor. I have been working a lot. And while I am at work there’s never any time to stop and relax. It’s been constant go go go, all the time these days. So, stress is definitely an option for the cause.

Hopefully it’s nothing.

I’m gonna go back to watching How I Met Your Mother now and try to forget about it.

November 21st, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #78: My New Shirt

This is my new favourite shirt. My friends mom gave it to me the other day as a super late birthday gift. And the second I saw it I was in love. I love lace, and cropped tops, and dusty pink, and beads, and sequins. So it’s everything I love all on one little shirt! I want to wear it everyday, and I can’t wait to try different outfits with it. I was kind of lazy with it today, so you don’t get to see the rest of the outfit.

Otherwise today was good. I was feeling completely refreshed from my day long nap yesterday. And am looking at things in a more positive perspective at work. Which is good. Because I was worried about my mood lately. It was going down a dark path that I know too well, and want to veer far far away from.

I feel like I got a lot accomplished today. Well I better have I worked for 12.75 hours…I helped out on VIP again, this time it got me 6 bucks for only a half an hour of work. Yay for free money. We got some new hires, so I got to see them at work. They seem pretty good to me. I’ll let you know though, I’ll give them a couple more days to really make an impression.

November 18th, 2012

19 Nov

PHOTO #75: Craft Store Haul

Just as I said we would do, my sister and I went to Michaels, an awesome although slightly pricey craft store. And here’s what I bought (Items are in order of how excited I am to use them):

-FIMO oven hardening modelling clay in red and jade. I’m super excited to make more of my flowers with this clay.

-Adjustable rings in silver and gold, to display the clay flowers that I’m going to make.

-Earring mounts, also for flowers…yea I’m kind of obsessed with making them. Although these didn’t come with backings so I’ll have to find some that fit them somewhere.

-Sculpey Bake and Bond. Glue to hold all the clay and rings and earrings together.

-and an adorable Buddha head pendant that I saw and couldn’t leave behind.

I’m super excited to start making things again. And I think I will start tomorrow. Though amazingly I actually have plans! My friends and I are going to hang out. I can’t spend another one of my days off sitting in a house doing absolutely nothing. Regardless of how exhausted I am, and how much I really just want to sleep all day, I can’t do it. I know how it feels at the end of a completely unproductive day. I always wish I had done something, rather than sat around on my couch watching TV shows. Yay for having a social life!

Celebrity sighting of the day: Aaron Stanford. He plays my favourite character Seymour Birkhoff in the show Nikita. A show that I love and have been watching for years now. I ripped his ticket stub, and he passed by so fast I didn’t really even have time to react. But either way. I was excited.

Also I should add:

I got Foursquare a long time ago because my friend thought it would be my type of thing. But, I never really got its purpose. I started using it in August for one reason, and one reason only: This guy came into the theatre once expecting some sort of special treatment, simply because he was the mayor of our theatre on Foursquare. We don’t affiliate with the site so there are no perks to being mayor other than being able to tell people you are. And the manager this guy talked to didn’t even know what it was. So, I started checking in at the theatre every time I had a shift. And I work a lot, as you know. So it didn’t take long before I stole the mayorship from him. I don’t know how he reacted to that, but I was laughing my ass off. I had stopped checking in after that, but still had the mayorship…until yesterday. When lo and behold, guess who stole the mayorship? THE SAME DAMN GUY. So, now I bet he’s all proud of himself for getting it back. Little does he know when I check in on tuesday, he’ll be losing it again. I know, I’m evil. But, I think it’s funny, because it means absolutely nothing, but he thinks it’s some special thing. I’m just trying to teach him a lesson. It’s all just fun and games, right? Is that such a bad thing to do?

November 10th, 2012

11 Nov

PHOTO #67: My Hair

I realized that I don’t really have a good shot of how my hair turned out after the second dye. And even though it’s been a couple of weeks, it still looks pretty blue. Plus I had nothing else to take a picture of today. So, me it is. Not even my cat was doing anything interesting.

Today was a repeat of the last two days. Horrible, busy, stupid guests, stupid employees, me staying hours later than I am scheduled, and being all around exhausted. One more shift and I’ll have a day off. Yay. Mostly I’m hearing good things about Skyfall, so I definitely have to see it soon. Before someone ruins it for me.

Which reminds me: I wore a pretty sparkly dress today! We posed for pictures and did funny Bond poses and had fun. Surprisingly it was more comfortable than I was expecting so I left it on all night. I was pretty worried about ruining it with butter or some sort of spill, that tends to happen to me, every night.

Getting home has been rough these past few days too. I never make it for the subway, and the TTC after 2am is horrible, and unreliable. If this becomes a regular thing for me, getting off after 2am, I might go crazy, and start spending most of my nights waiting for buses. Damn you Toronto Transit.