Tag Archives: Workaholic

Don’t Say Quitters Never Prosper

11 Apr

So it’s been over a year since I gave up on this blog. The plan was to do a blog post everyday for 365 days. I made it to 99. Which, to be honest with you all, is longer than I expected to last. In the end I was in a rough time of my life. All I did was work. And I obsessed about people knowing how much I was working and I focused on it to an almost breaking point. I cried a lot that year. I had virtually no friends, and nothing to look forward to. I was so lonely. I wouldn’t say I was clinically depressed, I would never assume to know what true depression feels like. But I would say that I was in a version of my own definition of depression. I was sad and lonely and afraid of life. I wanted things to happen to me but I didn’t want to do them. There was a war going on within me everyday. I would tell my self to buck up and then run into a corner and cry my eyes out for hours because I hated myself. I wanted to change. But I was terrified of change. You see how that can tear a person apart from the inside? Each post on here was a grasp at the idea of happiness, that my life had some weight to it. I was hopeful, but not mentally ready for any of it.

Since I quit this blog so much has happened. Surprisingly if i had kept this blog up you and I would have seen me transform into a different person. It didn’t happen right away I stayed in my black hole for many more months after the last post of this blog. So here’s a recap of what happened to me after this blog.

Work. Cry. Black hole. Work. Cry. Black hole.

I went to Europe for 2 months. 14 Countries, a Cruise. Great food. Pseudo-great company. Great memories.

I was highly liked by many friends we made there, boosting my self-confidence to slightly above self-loathing.

I came to the realization that I love to travel.

I became really good friends (I believe the term is BFFs) with a girl I work with.

we got tattoos together. It would be my first. I don’t have any more. Yet.

I got dangerously close to being in a relationship with someone I’ve had a crush on for years.

My friend forced me to join Tinder. I met a really great guy. He became my boyfriend.

I’m in love.

I got an iPhone 5s!

That’s about it. I’m still contemplating the future of this blog. But as I type these words I feel myself releasing something. I don’t know what it is about typing this post but it feels so comfortable to me. And I feel myself wanting to continue. So something will come of this. Just not sure what yet. I’d love to do a travel blog, but I don’t have the time off or the resources to travel often enough. But we’ll see, something will come of it. I have hopes, and optimism for once.

In the end 22 was a good year. And the day I turned 23 I asked the world (via Facebook) to give me an even better year at 23. Within the month I started talking to my boyfriend. 23 has already been a great year, and I have so much more in store.

I leave you with something I just created out of boredom, I took the photo in the background, its of The Amalfi Coast. I thought it was vaguely related to the subject of this post.

LM

A Rule I Need to Live By

A Rule I Need to Live By

P.S. This is officially my 100th Blog Post. Yay me. Took me long enough…

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November 23rd, 2012

24 Nov

PHOTO #80: Weird Red Spots

Wow. I can’t believe I am on post 80! Never in a million years did I think I would make it this far. Though it’s less than a quarter of the year I hope to be doing this for, I feel as though I’ve been at it forever. It’s been fun. It’s had its boring days…many of them. Though I hope that it won’t continue like that for long. The point of this thing was to try and force myself to do fun and interesting things. So, I have failed at a bit so far. But I have high hopes for the future. I have a few plans circling in my brain.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a weird spot at the knuckle of my pointer finger and thought nothing of it really. Could have been a burn, or a little bruise, or just a reaction to something that hit my skin for a moment. The weird thing about it was that it was perfectly circular. But, I passed it off as coincidence. And forgot about it. A couple of days later it had disappeared. All’s well right? Wrong. Two more perfectly circular dots appeared on my other hand. I still thought the same thing, burn or reaction. And forgot about it again. Then there were some on my elbow, then my forearm. All stayed for a couple of days then disappeared. None were itchy or painful or anything really. Just suspicious. Now there’s these ones. I noticed them at work. They are not quite as circular or prominent as the others, but who knows how long they have been there. I had just noticed them. So, being the minor hypochondriac that I am I got a bit scared…and let me tell you: Searching symptoms of things online…

DOES.

NOT.

HELP.

It really just scared me more. So, while I was working this is all I can think about:

“What is it?”

“What is causing it?”

“Could it be really bad?”

“Am I just overreacting, or over analyzing?”

I can’t focus on anything else. Which is bad, because we’re in the middle of a rush. So I went over to my friend on Guest Services (near the box office) and talked to her about it. She told me that it’s probably stress related, if it were serious they probably wouldn’t be coming and going, and would be more prominent. Not that she’s an expert, but it calmed me for now. I am going to look at physical symptoms of stress build-up because I need to know. And if it continues, I might go to the doctor. I have been working a lot. And while I am at work there’s never any time to stop and relax. It’s been constant go go go, all the time these days. So, stress is definitely an option for the cause.

Hopefully it’s nothing.

I’m gonna go back to watching How I Met Your Mother now and try to forget about it.

November 21st, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #78: My New Shirt

This is my new favourite shirt. My friends mom gave it to me the other day as a super late birthday gift. And the second I saw it I was in love. I love lace, and cropped tops, and dusty pink, and beads, and sequins. So it’s everything I love all on one little shirt! I want to wear it everyday, and I can’t wait to try different outfits with it. I was kind of lazy with it today, so you don’t get to see the rest of the outfit.

Otherwise today was good. I was feeling completely refreshed from my day long nap yesterday. And am looking at things in a more positive perspective at work. Which is good. Because I was worried about my mood lately. It was going down a dark path that I know too well, and want to veer far far away from.

I feel like I got a lot accomplished today. Well I better have I worked for 12.75 hours…I helped out on VIP again, this time it got me 6 bucks for only a half an hour of work. Yay for free money. We got some new hires, so I got to see them at work. They seem pretty good to me. I’ll let you know though, I’ll give them a couple more days to really make an impression.

November 20th, 2012

22 Nov

PHOTO #77: Locker Clean Out

This is the cleanest my locker has been in five and a half years. The managers asked everyone to clear out their lockers so that they could clean everything. There apparently was an odd smell coming from behind them. Though I didn’t notice it. That may be because I had gotten so used to it. Working 5/6 days every week. So I was slowly taking everything home to make it easier on myself. And this picture is me in the process of putting stuff back in. It’s kind of sad to see it like that though. All the memories I had, all wiped away. But they’ll be back up soon. Can’t keep my personalization down for long.

Otherwise this was a boring day. Besides the fact that I was super-duper sick…I was 45 minutes late for work because I could barely get out of bed. Yes, I could have been hung-over…but I think it was more than that. I’ve had a lot more to drink with out feeling like that. So, I think it was the mixture of drinks, and food that made me sick. Either way, when I got to work I couldn’t focus on anything. I didn’t get much done in the 1.75 hours that I was there. So, my manager told me I could go home. She understood that I was overworked and that I needed to rest and feel better. I was very thankful for that. And really needed it. That would be the first time in five years and eight months that I’ve ever gone home sick. I went home after an hour of being at work once almost two years ago but that was a different reason, and the explanation would be too long to explain here. Otherwise, I have never gone home sick or not shown up for work due to sickness, ever, not once. Yes, I am proud of that.

So, I went home and slept the day away. Which really helped.

But that brings me to a question:

What do you guys do for hang-over remedies?

I’ve never really needed one, so I’ve never researched them very intensely. So any input would be helpful…

November 18th, 2012

19 Nov

PHOTO #75: Craft Store Haul

Just as I said we would do, my sister and I went to Michaels, an awesome although slightly pricey craft store. And here’s what I bought (Items are in order of how excited I am to use them):

-FIMO oven hardening modelling clay in red and jade. I’m super excited to make more of my flowers with this clay.

-Adjustable rings in silver and gold, to display the clay flowers that I’m going to make.

-Earring mounts, also for flowers…yea I’m kind of obsessed with making them. Although these didn’t come with backings so I’ll have to find some that fit them somewhere.

-Sculpey Bake and Bond. Glue to hold all the clay and rings and earrings together.

-and an adorable Buddha head pendant that I saw and couldn’t leave behind.

I’m super excited to start making things again. And I think I will start tomorrow. Though amazingly I actually have plans! My friends and I are going to hang out. I can’t spend another one of my days off sitting in a house doing absolutely nothing. Regardless of how exhausted I am, and how much I really just want to sleep all day, I can’t do it. I know how it feels at the end of a completely unproductive day. I always wish I had done something, rather than sat around on my couch watching TV shows. Yay for having a social life!

Celebrity sighting of the day: Aaron Stanford. He plays my favourite character Seymour Birkhoff in the show Nikita. A show that I love and have been watching for years now. I ripped his ticket stub, and he passed by so fast I didn’t really even have time to react. But either way. I was excited.

Also I should add:

I got Foursquare a long time ago because my friend thought it would be my type of thing. But, I never really got its purpose. I started using it in August for one reason, and one reason only: This guy came into the theatre once expecting some sort of special treatment, simply because he was the mayor of our theatre on Foursquare. We don’t affiliate with the site so there are no perks to being mayor other than being able to tell people you are. And the manager this guy talked to didn’t even know what it was. So, I started checking in at the theatre every time I had a shift. And I work a lot, as you know. So it didn’t take long before I stole the mayorship from him. I don’t know how he reacted to that, but I was laughing my ass off. I had stopped checking in after that, but still had the mayorship…until yesterday. When lo and behold, guess who stole the mayorship? THE SAME DAMN GUY. So, now I bet he’s all proud of himself for getting it back. Little does he know when I check in on tuesday, he’ll be losing it again. I know, I’m evil. But, I think it’s funny, because it means absolutely nothing, but he thinks it’s some special thing. I’m just trying to teach him a lesson. It’s all just fun and games, right? Is that such a bad thing to do?

November 11th, 2012

12 Nov

PHOTO #68: Remembrance Day

This is all I have to show for the day. It was the worst of the past three days at work. I was not in the mood to deal with everyone not knowing what they’re doing, and yet still had to deal with it. It’s hard. I feel myself being more like who I used to be. Bitter, angry, always frustrated. I have managed to stay away from that mood for almost a year. I know that nothing good can come out of me being all mopey, and upset about everything. But, how am I supposed to stay positive? I do my job, and I do it well, and there’s little to no appreciation. I can only live like that for so long before it takes its toll on me. And then there’s those employees that will complain to me about their shift, or how they’ve been working so long, and they’re tired. Am I just supposed to pretend to feel bad for them? Because they had to stand there and push buttons on a till for a couple of hours? Because I don’t feel bad for them. I need to take this day off, and relax, because if I continue in this mind-set any longer I am going to snap at someone. And it’s going to get ugly.

I remember what it was about days like this that gets me down: No one calls on me just to talk, there’s always something that they need, something I have to fix, or something only I can do for them. It always ends up being work related. And I know that sounds weird to say. I mean I’m at work what else would I expect? But I see them hanging out with each other during their shifts and they call me over to ask me to get them their pay stubs.

On a more positive side Gary Oldman came to see a film today! I’m not sure which one but I didn’t really care, all I got to see was him exiting the theatre anyways. I am such a huge fan of his, so it was awesome to see him.

It was remembrance day. I should mention since that is what my photo is about. It’s funny I’ve had the Poppy on my jacket for a couple of weeks now, and since I got it I’ve noticed everyone that was wearing one. Before I put mine on I didn’t notice anyone wearing one. I think I will continue to leave it on for a bit, it’s started to get a bit knocked around though, so I am kind of worried it will fall off at some point. Hopefully not.

November 9th, 2012

10 Nov

PHOTO #66: More Bond Promo

Weird picture aside (I’m too lazy to put the dress on) I am super excited for tomorrow! Turns out the one manager that was enforcing the rule for skirts to be past our knees is on vacation. When I got to work today, still sad about not being able to wear any of my dresses, I saw girls wearing ridiculous crap. Like skin tight, cleavage showing, barely covering their asses let alone their knees. So, I went up to them and asked what they thought they were doing. And they said no one told them to take it off. So…screw it! I’m wearing a dress tomorrow. That’s that. So this is a picture of the dress’s fabric. It’s sparkly 🙂 . I’m so excited to wear it tomorrow. I’m still trying to think of what shoes I’m going to wear, and how I’m going to do my make-up. Hopefully I give myself enough time to figure that out tomorrow. Because I really just want to go to bed right now. I literally just got home from work…it’s 3:30am! So. Not. Cool. It’s more of the same thing unfortunately. No one doing their job, no one willing to put in the effort to do things right, so that I don’t have to spend hours fixing things when they go wrong. It’s getting ridiculous now. And there’s this miscommunication between the managers as to what my job is daily. Am I the teller, or am I the assistant manager? Because honestly, I could do both, but I would go crazy and get ripped in half at some point I’m sure. And I would be at the theatre every night until 3:30 am. Just like tonight.

Guhhh…’til tomorrow I guess.